I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
