he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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