Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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