They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
