I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
