Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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