All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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