Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
