...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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