hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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