I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
