At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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