Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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