I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I believe in your delicious
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
