I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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