GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
