Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
