i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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