if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
