look no pants
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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