I heard we made out
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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