you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
