Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's shark week go big or go home
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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