Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
