Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
