I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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