they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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