Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
