Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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