Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
