I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
