Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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