I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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