Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
