your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
