Just cropdusted the office
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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