Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Four minutes until I can fart!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
we should paint friendship bongs
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