I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
