Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just pynch a tree in the face
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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