"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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