sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
