Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
