booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
