this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
