If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
