Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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