she woke up with a sticky ear
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
