Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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