school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you inspire me to be a worse person
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
