kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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