We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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