just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
