I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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