Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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