You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
