Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
