butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
