Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
