THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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