8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he puts the penis in happiness.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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